The note, addressed to his (Cliff Baxter's) wife, Carol, said: ``I am so sorry for this. I feel I just can't go on. I have always tried to do the right thing but where there was once great pride now it's gone. I love you and the children so much. I just can't be any good to you or myself. The pain is overwhelming. Please try to forgive me.'' It was signed, ``Cliff.''